So I was watching Christmas specials on Netflix earlier, hoping to stave off the inevitable feeling of loneliness I've been having about spending Christmas alone. After the first couple shows, however, I began to notice a recurring pattern in a lot of these specials.
Protagonist: YAY IT'S CHRISTMAS (or whatever coincidentally similar holiday they might be celebrating during wintertime in the world of this show)!
Secondary character: Oh, no! So-and-so is all alone. We should help him/her.
Protagonist: We should! No one should spend Christmas alone!
*Cue the rest of the episode revolving around getting so-and-so to join them/reunite with estranged family/make new friends/not spend Christmas alone*
So you can imagine that, after a couple hours of this, I found myself in no better spirits than I did when I began this mope-tastic cartoonathon.
Sure, I rarely actually CELEBRATE this holiday as it is... in fact, one year I even found myself playing World of Warcaft for the majority of the day. Sometimes I just sit and watch television in my parents' house. But even though I seldom have a garish tree in my living room and I cannot for the life of me remember the last time I donned a Santa hat... I realized I never actually spent this day completely alone ever before.
To be completely honest, it wouldn't be all that bad if (and I should feel terrible saying this but then I remembered OH YEAH I'm a terrible person! I don't care!) everyone else wasn't so. Damn. Happy.
I've been alone before. In fact, as of late, I find myself in the company of no other living person more often than not due to my current circumstances. The problem lies in the cheerful nature of everyone else during this time of year.
Ok, you know how there's that one single guy you know? The one who sighs every time he sees couples holding hands when he goes anywhere? Or even just seeing people fall in love in the movies he watches (alone)? It's a bit similar.
I'm not really trying to come off as a Grinch, bashing on everyone else having a (God forbid) good holiday season. By all means, you probably deserve it. Post your happy photos on Facebook for me to sigh wistfully at (even if you are wearing gaudy sweaters, you're entitled) with your cookies and your trees and your oversized socks that don't seem to come in a pair for some stupid reason. Hell, I never have any of those things even when I DO find company on Christmas. Just don't expect me to leave cheerful comments on said photos because I'm a cold, bitter person.
The saddest part of all this is that I've always loved Christmas above every other holiday. Do I care that it's an admittedly religious holiday, perpetuated by capitalism and greed? Not really, no. No matter how many nativity scenes people try to push in your face, I'm pretty sure even Jesus himself would admit defeat after realizing how many more people Google Santa's name than his. Christmas isn't about Jesus, I don't care what anyone tells you. It's about passive aggressive yard-decorating competitions with your neighbors, seasonal drinks at Starbucks and catchy jingles on the radio that still make you happy even if you've heard them a million and a half times. Problem is, it's also about spending time with people (preferably ones you like.) I'm a bit lacking in that department.
Maybe I'll just call myself a hipster and proclaim that Christmas is just too mainstream of a holiday for me to give a damn about it.
