Why, Yes, You Do Look Fat Today

I’d like you to ask yourselves (I was going to start this off with “tell me” but then I remembered that I practically have to beg like a starving puppy to get any input or feedback on this stupid blog so we’ll go with the option that allows you to continue not giving a toss) if you’ve ever known anyone with one particularly… overwhelming personality trait that you did not take to so fondly. Of course, that would require a hint of self-reflection on the part of you, the reader; so try not to hurt yourselves. What characteristics do you admire in others and, contrariwise, which traits do you find repugnant, at best? On that note, I also wonder if anyone else behaves abnormally cold toward these people when said traits are made apparent.

I’ve always found myself especially drawn to those with an air of humility. Take note: There is a vast difference between true humility and false modesty. In my mind, humility is the recognition that, although you may be talented, attractive or whatever else people might regard you highly for, there are those who are better than you. This knowledge helps people retain a sense of being grounded and practical. Perhaps an example is in order:

A sidewalk artist draws an admittedly inspired piece on the ground in a public setting. He looks at his work proudly but says nothing. He draws a crowd and humbly accepts the praise offered to him by passersby. Were he to flaunt his piece, drawing more attention and compliments for the sake of his own ego, it is not unlikely that a better artist would come along, draw something better not too far away and make the first man look like an arrogant fool. If you’ve ever met a true artist, you’ll know that they rarely think their work is anything special for exactly this reason. On the other extreme, if you’ve ever met a seasoned video gamer… you’d likely be made aware of the undeserved sense of accomplishment and considerable ego that a great majority of them seem to possess.

False modesty, however, is a poor imitation of modesty worn by juveniles who think themselves oh, so clever by attempting to pry undue praise to themselves for mediocre accomplishments. Most think their guises iron-clad and, to their credit, any asinine audience (of which there are many) is more than willing to tell these people, “Ugly? No way! You’re so pretty! And I can’t believe you think you can’t sing! Oh, of COURSE your hair looks good today!”

I don’t handle people with addictions well. If someone is addicted to heroin, do you buy him or her syringes for their birthdays? Likely not. However, no one seems to think twice about giving credit where none is due, thus feeding a Self-Esteem addiction. Perhaps it’s because few have noticed and the ones that have may not have thought that far; they just want the person to shut up about being fat. I’ve always found the silent treatment works, especially when you’re looking for an indirect way to make these people stop trying to hang out with you. If someone has a need, a true emotional need, to be right all the time, I’m far less likely to give him or her that satisfaction. We all know those who would sooner swallow their own head and shit it out their ass than admit to being wrong and yet people continue to enable that behavior for the sake of avoiding further hassle.

I’d like to add here that I highly advise against calling these people out on such tendencies with little or no warrant. It makes you look like an ass and you’re probably going to lose that one. People, by nature, rarely contemplate their personalities enough to pinpoint the less-than-admirable traits within themselves. They’re probably aware of it to some degree though. It’s much like encountering a very disfigured person on the street; you acknowledge the existence of the person, yet you try to ignore him or her in order to keep yourself from staring. You know they’re there, threatening to enter your line of vision so you keep them confined to the periphery.

If you ever notice someone becoming uncharacteristically silent, perhaps even stalling conversation at a random moment, it’s likely they’ve been made aware of whatever unlikable trait you possess and continue to feed. I dwell on the inflated ego so much because I’ve found no other single transgression that can boast the numbers of people it appears to afflict. Maybe I’m just unlikely in the company I find. It would, however, be a blessing by every definition of the word if people were to stop giving me “hints” as a means of fishing for compliments. I’m not an idiot, I can see through you, and you’re not getting any. Go away.