Yes, I'd Like To Exchange This Vagina For Some Equality

So I’m sitting here, reading this bullshit article on the internet about how men are becoming less manly. Well what does that mean for women? Well the internet seems to think women are TOO manly these days. Not enough of us wear dresses and know how to cook a ham apparently.

What does it really mean to be “manly” or “feminine” anyway? Many people have told me over the years that I’m quite manly myself. Hell, when my grandma was around, she’d complain up and down about how I never wore dresses and should act more “like a lady.” While it’s true I detest dresses and skirts, I don’t really see a wardrobe primarily consisting of jeans, t-shirts and jackets as tomboyish or feminine. I like to think of myself as unisex in many aspects. “Androgynous” is a term I am very fond of.

To me and many of my friends here in the modern age, the phrases “act like a lady” and “man up” mean precisely shit. Why should we? Does it get us anything we don’t already have? What purpose does it serve to further widen the gap between us, started with our genitalia and ending in the amount of money we earn?

In all honesty, manly and girly are not natural ways of perceiving people or the world we live in. When children are born, their gender provides guidelines to others on how to treat the child, whether they like it or not.

“Oh, you’re having a baby? Is it a girl or a boy?”

It’s a fucking baby is what it is. What’s it to you?

Experiments have been conducted on children where people were asked to describe little boys and girls just by looking at them. The girls, of course, were all “precious” and “sweet.” The boys, on the other hand, were “handsome” and a “chip off the old block” (so I guess this study was done in the 1950’s?). Guess what? They’d lied about the genders. Some handsome little girls they had there I guess.

Now I haven’t taken nearly enough liberal arts classes to be able to make an educated guess as to why this is so hard-wired into us as a society, but as far as uneducated guesses go I’d say it’s because people are goddamn stupid. We don’t treat animals this way. God knows that I treat both my dogs, boy and girl, the same way and don’t go out of my way to find the female a pink collar and the boy a blue. No one gives a shit. So why do we put so much emphasis on it for people?

I’m not a modern day feminist by any means and this isn’t because I don’t believe women should be granted the same rights as men. I do. Problem is that feminists have a very skewed way of looking at things. Let’s take (you guessed it!) ponies as an example. When My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic first started its reign over the internet, the fandom began calling themselves bronies. Then a bunch of bitches got their panties all in a twist and decided they didn’t want to be bronies. They wanted to be pegasisters.

Let me tell you… why that’s bullshit.

Aside from the fact that the term pegasister excludes unicorns and earth ponies by way of its very description, it also excludes males. While you may think you have the balls (you don’t) to look me in the eye and say, “Well BRONIES is a term exclusive to males,” I’m going to go ahead and tell you that that’s wrong and you’re retarded. Bronies, a combination of bro and ponies, can be used to describe either gender. I’ve met plenty of women who have earned the title of a bro. We can be dudes, we can be guys, we can be bros and any woman who responds to the phrase, “hey guys” with “UGH I’M NOT A GUY” is probably a complete cunt and should be cast out from the rest of society.

You see, I’m an equalist (and not in the Avatar sort of way), not a feminist. Feminism is the idea that, “Oh. You have a thing. I want a thing, too.” Equalism is more like, “Hey, you have a thing. Can I share that thing?” Equalism is an ideology that does not have room in its ranks for terms like “girl gamer” and “male nurse.” We are gamers and we are nurses. The fact that I have boobs does not hinder my ability to whoop your ass in DPS and having a penis has never gotten in the way of anyone properly impaling someone with an IV. If I ever in my life hear someone say anything along the lines of, “Sorry I couldn’t save that child from the burning building; I am, after all, a female firefighter,” I think I’d swallow my own head and shit it right back out due to the silliness of it all.

What really gets me is this strange concept of everything needing a label. We can’t walk 5 steps out our door without categorizing and sub-categorizing everything and everyone we see. Does it benefit us in any way? It honestly just kind of makes us dicks. Over the course of my life, I’ve heard shit like, “A man isn’t a man unless he does this, that and the other thing.” FALSE. A man isn’t a man if he has a vagina. (Hell, as far as I’m concerned, a man can be a person with a vagina who claims they’re a man because they want to be. I don’t give a shit; call yourself a goose for all I care.) That’s it. It’s really fucking simple. I eagerly await the day we are classified as people before we’re labeled as man, woman, girl, boy, trannie, or (my personal favorite) OTHER.

Though I doubt that day will come in my lifetime.