I'll only accept phone numbers from a 7 or higher

During all my years lurking 4chan (or "The Insidious Evil Pornographic Website of Sin" as Fox News likes to call it) I've noticed a lot of things about people. The nature of these observations are weighed upon heavily by which specific boards I tend to frequent and, like any sane woman, I find myself drawn to the misogynistic hellhole known as /r9k/. Now this particular board is ripe with woman-hating, superiority-complex riddled internet dwellers who love, more than anything in this world, to reassure any who will listen that women are inferior to men in every possible way. It's actually pretty hilarious.

However, there is one particular gripe I have with something I frequently come across on this particular board that I'd very much like to address. It is the notion that if an attractive man pursues a woman, she will be flattered. Contrariwise, if an unattractive man pursues a woman, he is a creep. While this is not entirely untrue, as I have seen this played out many a time, I'd like to state that this sad trend is not limited to women being shallow whores. Men do it, too. (Just not as often.)

Time and time again, I've known guys who have held the attention of certain ladies they found... less than desirable. Most of the time, the girls were actually alright people if you got past their weight/face/hair/acne/third tit. But it always seems as though the guys treated them like goddamn lepers all the same, bitching and groaning at the fact that the girl was interested in them as though they weren't the same guys who were complaining about being single and forever alone not a fucking week prior.

I've also noticed the same occurrence when someone of the same sex makes an unwanted advance. This trend I find particularly offensive and just plain unfair. Fine, an ugly chick hit on you. You're not interested and you just leave it at that, right? You might make a snarky comment later on in that night but you're not particularly traumatized or anything. Yet, for some baffling reason, when a gay or bisexual man hits on a straight man, the straight guy will often become incredibly guarded, defensive and sometimes even downright violent. While you might consider such reactions to be the result of blatant homophobia, it happens to more liberally-minded men just the same.

Some might say, "Oh, well he's just not secure with his sexuality. That's why he was so defensive." Not necessarily. I happen to think that there's some sort of stigma that gay men and women have to face when dealing with straight people and that is the notion that if a gay hits on you, you gon' get raped.

While this response isn't exactly unheard of when someone of the opposite sex makes advances, it's not quite as common as it seems to be for gays. When a particularly undesirable person tries to make a pass at me, I don't immediately assume they're going to stick their hand down my pants. I assume that I will make my disinterest apparent and they will leave me alone. Worst case scenario, they will badger me for my number until I make up an excuse to go somewhere else. This seems to be a fairly standard mentality amongst most people. But somehow that logic goes right out the window when homosexuality is involved, as though when someone becomes gay they are immediately handed a chloroform rag and an unmarked van as a rite of passage.

While this may appear to be a politically centered post, thinly veiled behind a mask of social observation, I assure you that is not the case. My political affiliations are none of anyone's business, nor are yours mine. I simply wanted to address an unfair double standard I've come to notice as of late. I've heard stories of gay people getting punched just for flirting with someone they made the grave mistake of not knowing was straight. Would you punch a fat chick who hit on you because she mistook you for a chubby chaser?

Yes, some women act this way when an ugly guy asks for their number. For that I apologize on behalf of my gender. The difference between someone being labeled as "charming" and "creepy" should not depend solely on how high he rates on the 1-10 scale. Likewise, an attractive woman should not be labeled as "strong and assertive" for calling you 10 times a day while an unattractive one is labeled "stalker" for adding you on Facebook. This is just common sense.

Just because someone you're not into finds you attractive, it doesn't necessarily mean they're going to force themselves on you. Most people aren't fond of having harassment charges filed against them, regardless of their sexuality. Don't just go around getting offended or creeped out just because someone with a receding hairline hit on you. You should be flattered. (Especially if a gay guy hits on you; they tend to have high standards.)

Ha.

I don't have anything to blog about today but I wanted the internet to know that Francis is not a good sport and does not take losing at Blaz Blue very well.

Compliments! Compliments for Everyone!

In the past, I have made no secret of the fact that I hold a great amount of disdain for false modesty. In my opinion, it's a sneaky, underhanded way to fish for (usually undeserved) compliments. No one owes you praise; if you deserved it, it would be given freely. Instead, you poke and prod at those around you with bullshit like, "I'm so fat" and "I hate my hair, I wish I had her/your/someone else's hair." I don't see how attempting to pry compliments out of people makes anyone feel better since you have to practically beg for them, meaning they weren't something anyone was about to give you if you'd kept your needy mouth shut.
But I'm not about to start beating a dead horse by making yet another post about that particular breed of imbecile. This isn't about them; it's about me. This rant is about how everyone around me seems to have some physical need to reassure me of my good qualities. An ex boyfriend of mine once said to me, "I have to fish for you to fish for compliments."

There's a difference between blatantly begging for validation and being hilariously self-deprecating. I don't go out of my way to squeeze in a line about how fat I am (hehe... squeeze, fat, get it?) but I won't pretend I'm a goddamn supermodel when the topic comes up. When people ask me how I see myself, my typical answer is "I'm alright." And that's that. I'm alright. Yeah, I've got shit that needs fixing but I'm not going to bore everyone around me to tears whining about it.
I'm honestly getting a little sick and tired of everyone flattering me needlessly because they think my self-esteem isn't high enough. My self-esteem is exactly where it needs to be, thank you very much. The only thing I hate more than false modesty is narcissism. Everyone around me (you know who you are) is apparently desperate to create some sort of egomaniacal monster with their unwarranted praise and reassurance. You asked me what I thought of myself and I told you. No one asked for your opinion, go away.
Better yet, let's just stop bringing my appearance into conversation altogether. I don't want to talk about something so inconsequential unless it's directly related to the subject at hand. Every time it comes up and I deny the fact that I may be attractive, no one seems to have the capacity to let it go. Suddenly it's everyone's god-given duty to convince me of how pretty and smart and funny and oh-so-speshul I am. On the other hand, if I finally cave and just say, "Fuck it. Yes. Ok? Yes, I am pretty," then it's off-putting and I look like a goddamn narcissist. I just can't win.
I don't think I've met anyone else with this problem but I wish I would. I would very much like to meet another person who is sick and tired of undue compliments so we can sit around and safely make fun of ourselves all day long. The only person I'd gladly accept random compliments from would be a significant other (and that's only because it was in the contract.)
I don't know what people get out of bombarding me with their needless adulation. It doesn't make me feel better; it makes me uncomfortable. I start getting this sense of overwhelming guilt because I don't go out of my way to tell people how good their hair looks today because I assume (since most people own a mirror) they're already aware.
I realize I might sound ungrateful or arrogant by complaining about this but it really does get annoying after a while. It's as though my being self-deprecating makes people think I'm fishing for compliments when, in reality, I'm just trying to make a joke. Everyone likes poking fun at others and I gladly offer myself up as a punchline. I'm well-acquainted with myself, so my looks and appearance aren't anything especially foreign to me. That being said, I'm pretty sure I don't really need a bunch of third parties putting in their two cents. What really gets me is how something so pointless and superficial is even an issue. It's not worth discussing, it really isn't.
Leave my butt, my weight and my hair out of this and let's talk about string theory or something, PLEASE.

I just met you, and this is crazy... but here's my Facebook. So stalk me maybe?

So I deleted my Facebook a little while back.
Gone. Kaput. Relationship Status: Da svedanya.

Since that happened, I have been made that much more aware of the fact that no one is ever going to read my blog again because that's the only way anyone gave a damn about it. If it's not showing up in their newsfeed, it doesn't exist. So here I am, at 2:08 in the morning, talking to myself. Good times.
I do not have a twitter nor a tumblr either. Life devoid of social media has been trying, to say the least. My primary means of communication has been texting and emaling, yet I (in my infinite wisdom) did not think to acquire the phone numbers of many of my former Facebook friends and am, therefore, slightly inconvenienced when I actually need to talk to them. In all honesty, it's been frustrating... and that annoys me. Now I'm not annoyed because I don't have a virtual farm to tend to all goddamn day but moreso because everyone else is so dependent on it and that makes it hard to reach them through any other means.

Imagine meeting someone in this day and age and exchanging anything OTHER than a Facebook url. They want something that's even MORE non-committal than a phone number. I mean, that's what texting is for, right? Not anymore. Now, you can expect to be thoroughly stalked before they even decide to ask you out for coffee. What's most infuriating about this is that it's become completely normal to rely on social media for fucking EVERYTHING. That's part of the reason I deleted it, truth be told.

In all honesty, Facebook started creeping me out. I would log in from my phone and it would sync my contacts with their profile pictures. Before I knew it, every news article I so much as skimmed was on my newsfeeds. That's some 1984 shit right there. I figured it was only a matter of time before it announced everything I'd bought online, every Skype conversation I had and everything I had for breakfast. Not cool, yo. (If it started alerting my newsfeed to every query I put into google, I would have no friends. That is a fact.)

I rarely get that impulse to check in on my nonexistent Facebook. I did for a couple days, just out of habit or muscle memory, but I got over it fairly quickly. It's a bit akin to my relationship with my phone; I used to think I needed it, all the time, no matter what. Then I started forgetting it at home once... twice... a lot. Then I went to Europe and couldn't take it at all. Now I could really give a crap about it most days. I don't bring it to the movies and I sure as hell don't need it when I'm out shopping. Facebook took significantly less weening but it was still something I had to get used to.

What I'm NOT used to, however, is the fact that I can't seem to get shit done. Everyone has yielded to the will of the Zuckerberg and forgone most other means of communication in favor of the great and all-powerful, all-knowing (and I do mean that part quite literally) Facebook. I can't seem to make simple dinner plans without someone requesting I "facebook them" the details. How about I TELL you the details? With my face? There's this brilliant new thing called talking, you should all check it out.

It's certainly a good way to help remember who your actual friends are. I still have one friend who writes to me. On PAPER. And sends it in the MAIL! (I know, right?) Seeing that someone has taken the effort to call, hell, even text me means that they pulled themselves away from their precious internets long enough to maintain some form of contact with me. (The fact that she writes 15-page letters and buys stamps for my sake makes me happy as a cl-- No, you know what? HAPPIER than a clam. And clams are pretty goddamn happy, ok?) Those are some real friends right there.

It was a bit disheartening when I told people I deleted the damn thing, only to be told, "Oh, so it was you? I was wondering why my number went down..." Ok, really? I'm not expecting to be the thing that occupies your thoughts day and night, but you really couldn't tell that I was gone? Fantastic. Way to make a girl feel special.

I'm not sure what the purpose of this particular blog entry was (though I can say the same about all the previous ones) but, looking back, it might just serve as a fair warning to anyone else who is getting fed up with the Facebook overlord watching their every keystroke. It certainly frees up your time significantly and, according to some study I'm too lazy to cite, it makes you less depressed. Just make sure to get some emails or something before you make that final click or you'll never hear from anyone ever again. Oh, and don't expect to get a date anytime soon either. Apparently, you're not datable unless you have a Facebook the person can comb through and you can be damned sure no one has the balls to call anyone and ask for a date anymore.

It's All Fun and Games Until They Realize You're NOT a 12 Year Old Boy

A few hours ago, I was having myself a lovely chat with someone I had met on 4chan. The topic of video games inevitably came up and I was slightly surprised to learn that someone from said website did not regularly partake in the hobby. He was, however, curious as to whether or not I got harassed on a regular basis by men for being a "girl gamer." 
This is obviously not the first time an inquiry of this nature has been made to me. That being said, I have begun to notice that the topic tends to incite feelings reminiscent of some traumatic event every time I'm forced to answer it. While men may often scoff and roll their eyes at the notion that women have a hard time playing games, I can assure you that it's not always a walk in the park. I should probably make it perfectly clear that I speak for myself and other gamers with the misfortune of harboring female genitalia, not "gamer girls." I honestly cannot stress this enough; I am not, nor do I wish to be acknowledged as, a "gamer girl." I am a gamer.
Simply put, it's tedious and oftentimes frustrating being female when video games are in question. It's common practice for us to hide our genders, being content with being referred to as "he" and "him" over voice chat. We claim our mics don't work well and, when probed about our personal lives, remain as vague and gender-neutral as possible. Now I know plenty of you are shaking your heads right now and thinking, "Bullshit. Every girl I know has always been treated well in the gaming community. They don't have to hide." I should clarify...
There are vast differences between female gamers and "gamer girls." The most prominent, I've noticed, is choice of character or design. Whether we're talking fighters, RPGs, or even racing games, you will notice patterns if you look closely. Do they opt for decals in lieu of engine upgrades? Have you never seen them fight with anyone other than Chun-li, even when they clearly can't play her that well? Do they play supporting classes because their boyfriend needs a healer? Take heed; if their gaming style can be referred to only as an aesthetic choice or what was recommended to be the easiest to play, I'd be hesitant to award them the title of "Gamer." Picking up a controller and playing a round of Halo with your boyfriend whenever his friends aren't around no more makes you a gamer than changing your oil every 3,000 miles makes you a mechanic.
Just so we're clear, I'm not hating on casual gamers here. Wii sports is fun and anyone who doesn't giggle like a schoolgirl when a new Pokemon game is announced has absolutely no soul. Those who follow the community heavily, however, take the title "Gamer" as a serious commitment to Mountain Dew and all things geeky. I enjoy a good game of basketball now and then but in no way consider myself an athlete. The thing I have a problem with is the fact that a female can play one Final Fantasy game and promptly fancy herself a "Gamer" because it means she can now hone in on a niche demographic and revel in the glory of being a rarity (Read: Speshul snowflake).
One thing they did get right, however, was garnering enough popularity and support from desperate males to allow them the privilege to practically get away with murder because "lol i'm a girl." They giggle in vent, flirt during raids, and make those adorable "tee hee, I don't know what I'm doing" sounds while trying to figure which buttonmash combo equates to blocking. Problem is, men have started to expect that from us. All of us. Even the ones who know how to play are almost required to behave like vapid retards if we expect to see any glorious lewt. Do you know what happens when we don't fill that role? THAT'S when we get harassed.
When women are content to play supporting classes and giggle in vent, everyone seems at ease. However, when it turns out that the fury warrior raping the dps charts is actually female, guys are suddenly much less accommodating to having women encroach on their hobby. The mage barely pulling her own weight on the damage charts is fine to have around (provided she makes up for it by flirting shamelessly with the raid leader), but having a main tank turn out to be a woman? Well, in the wise words of Philip J. Fry, "That dog won't hunt, monsignor." Care to know the trick to being the highest dps'ing death knight in your guild and never getting invited to raids? Don't flirt with anyone. You'll brand yourself the "stuck up bitch lesbian" and you'll be passed up for the giggle factory of a priest who stands in fire.
The egos of men are fragile things and they will go to any lengths to preserve them. While gender equality may be something everyone likes to claim they support in public, there are apparently some lines we still can't safely cross. Do I bat my eyelashes so he'll graciously let me play the next turn or do I hold my ground and risk being ostracized because he doesn't want to risk losing a game of Guilty Gear to a girl? At the end of the day, the most prevalent game we're playing is one of politics and, like it or not, we're still second class citizens. Personally, men can be buttmad all they damn well please; I'm still going to end up teabagging their corpse, regardless of what I do or do not actually possess between my legs.